Addiction to Superiority

OK, im better than everyone i work with and that's just groovy except you cant smoke superiority no matter how thorogly you sort it coz there's that stem of guilt in there. that probably comes from my mom trying to make me a good catholic (hahahahahaha) between her stays in rehab. anyway.

i dont remember if i already told you but Jeralds back in town trying to make up for being an asshole all my life. so far things are going swimmingly. thats actually a word. i dunno what it means but liz said it in an email and shes smarter that me so i get points for using smart words. WOO.

what was i talking about? oh yeh, Jerald. nothing interesting there. im living the single life still, which sucks a fat one or lack thereof. luke came in the donut shop with his fatboy fuck buddy and i had a good hard laugh at that little incident. he didnt even recognize me. when i asked about mia and the baby he gave me this look like i was the devil and said "how the fuck do you know about that?" and i said "back when you wanted to bang me, remember?" and he was like, "OMG, clay i totally didnt recognize you you look so different" im like "yeh now i have blonde hair instead of blonde hair, i could see how you could be all confused."

W/ever that's not a story worth telling cos theres no punchline. how are you fuckers doing?

<3Clay

10 Ways to Fuck Up a Conversation

1. forget your name. "hi, i'm... oh shit."

2. forget their name. "what the fuck are you calling yourself these days? judy? weird. i thought you were called anne."

3. lie about your age. if you're 17, say "im 21! 22 next spring."

4. lie about your birthplace. "umm... i was born in belise. thats in south america. you probably know it for communists and coffee."

5. tell them you have an advanced college degree. "i am a major in anthrohistorianology with a minor in architectural analysis and design. yes, i have a 5-year dgree from the university of Roswell."

6. tell them funny stories about other people. "My baby neice natasha ate her mother's pantyhose once. Right off her legs."

7. pretend youve already heard all the stories they try to tell. "Oh is that the one where your brother ends up getting chewed up by that police dog after he hides in a dumpster behind the lard factory?"

8. laugh at something that isn't funny. "i thought you were joking when you said your dog had lukimea. I use that one on my friends all the time."

9. bust out with some OG rap lyrics while they're talking about their plans for the day.

10. at the end of your conversation say "im sorry i dont speak english." or "i am not from your country." and walk the other way.

<3Clay

Underdog Overdose

Loosers. They surround me. I am becoming one of them!!!!

I've been working my nuts off at this stupid donut shop. dont read that wrong. it could look really sick to a dyslexic dude. anyway. my life is a blur of tall lates and fat-free spread. i have like no time for anything. not even philosophy. i turned into a boring prick and its all because of capitalsim.

at least thats what Jerald said. hes back now, btw. out of prison and working hard to get back in. you know what they say... once you go black, you never go back... i bet he got all kinds of love in colorado. he was totally someones bitch too. man i just hope i dont turn out like my brother.

sooo yech. myspace is a whore and im going to do something drastic because i have a billion emails and friends requests from ppl ive never met. they can all fuck off and die. supid whores. they just like me cos of my name i swear.

It looks like my life is gonna stay busy so dont be offended if i dick off for another month before i write anyone back. hope everyone's doing good out there in cyberland!

<3Clay

In Perspective

Shawn gave me a ride out to some party Saturday night. It was way out on the fringe of town, right in the new developments on the west side. These houses are fucking ritzy. The neighborhood we went to was all these giant 2-story things with decks and fat garages. Fucking amazing to a trailer park rat like me.

The party turned out to be so fucking lame we almost overdosed on the powder-mix cherry flavored punch. Disgusting. We ditched the bastards before 9:00 and shawn took me over the freeway to this weird slope in the road where you get this amazing view of the entire city. ABQ is nothing special if youve ever seen denver or phoenix or LA. but its pretty cool when youre baked out of your skull.

I had this kind of epiphany while i was up there.something like, so many people down there, every one's got a tragedy, and some of them will be dead tomorrow. And it hit me like a pink elephant - Perspective.

Whoa. Kind of a new thing. It's been happening a lot lately. I mean i always knew there were loads of people ,but its like i never realized how insignifigant everything is. like the person in the car driving past me could be cheating on his wife and paying to put his kid through chemo therapy even though the kid's only got a year left to live, then his tire blows out and I'm confused because he's standing next to his car screaming at the sky. seems like an overreaction to me, but hes got all the reason in the world to be mad. that's what i suddenly felt like.

you know what i mean, or am i just fucking high?

<3Clay

PS- i got a myspace page... so here's the link. www.myspace.com/stick_saga

One small step for Stick Boy...

I was walking to work this morning all innocent and everything, and i stopped to get some bottled water at a crummy little gas station. When i walked out, Aaron and Eric were pumping gas not ten feet away from me. Eric gives me this evil eye like he wants to attack me, and Aaron's pretending he doesn't see me. So i flipped them both off and walked away.

and then I thought, "Wow, that's a fucking leap forward." I mean, six months ago i wouldve been hard pressed not to psychotically attack Eric right there. or like started yelling hysterically at aaron. Point being i wouldve expected myself to do something really stupid and for the first time, i actually avoided a perilous situation instead of throwing myself into it like some attention-deprived child.

Anyway that's my revelation for this week.

I'm still debating about getting a myspace. Im trendyphobic, hence my unwillingness to vote for pedro. but at the same time... liz hasnt updated her shit since she got her myspace and Jeni strait up vanished... looks like its just you and me, babe. :)

<3Clay